Week 12 - They have not replied to my texts. What do I make of it?
The High Priestess Rx/ Five of Wands/ King of Wands
What cannot be written, must be spoken.
It is obvious that this is bothering you a lot. But it is obvious to you. It is obvious to the person reading these cards. But it is not obvious to the person who is not texting you back.
In every relationship, communication is different. You might prefer to call your mother, email your boss and talk in person with your neighbour. In this relationship, texting is not working. Because there is no response. And if there is, it is not when the other person needs it.
The key term here is “need”. Your need in this relationship is communication that is prompt. Not getting this leads to heartache (literal and metaphorical). It also activates your brain to think of the reasons why they are not texting you back. You begin to imagine scenarios to fill up this void. You resent the person who is not filling it. You begin to resent yourself for wanting this from them.
It is important to recognize that there is an unmet need here. And maybe the way to getting it met is not right. Maybe texting is leading to internal conflicts. Maybe you need to switch to a more direct form of communication where there is no scope for waiting and wondering. Yes, you might want to appear cool and unaffected and expect yourself to get on with life and forget about it. But you simply aren’t able to. Instead of pushing yourself to do that, ask yourself what you need and then pick up the phone and tell them. If possible, meet in person. If this makes you nervous, then give yourself the permission to be nervous. Do it, anyway. You deserve this chance to change things.
Besides the unmet need, another thing that is obvious is your investment in this situation. Unlike what you would like to believe, this means a lot to you, enough to make you bother about it. Accepting this will help you align with who you really are. It will help you ground into your truth and then from this place, you can act to ask for what you want.
When someone doesn’t reply to our texts, we may or may not know their reasons. But when we wait and wonder, we are denying ourselves the possibility of what we truly want. An honest conversation.